this is such an exciting time in my life. the past year has been filled with weddings, babies , with a few magic moments sprinkled in. amongst the good therehas been rough spots, namely saying goodbye to a friend who is too full of life to actually believe she's not living today. a struggle that sadly from experience i know will not be easily overcome. funny how saying good bye and letting go teaches us so much about ourselves. its never been easy for me, but then again who is it ever easy for.becoming a mom its like all the sudden you look up and its a new world. i realize this will now be the 3rd wizard of oz reference in this blog, but its as if stepping into motherhood is like everything all the sudden is in color. the world is just buzzing about you and everything else is secondary. it makes me feel closer to my mother actually because i understand so much more about her, just because i understand what being a mother means. we are in the same sisterhood now.
i have a few months ahead of me (and a few past) that are literally stuffed with weddings. happy times. i am excited to see my friends start the journey i have been on for three years now. i know that they are about to enter into something they never dreamed of. if they picked the right person, which i believe the majority has, they are about to find a best friend, human security blanket and an extension of themselves. a person that tells you like it is, checks you when you need it and is the start and end to your day. as long as it starts with that person & ends with that person - everything else is just details. like the wedding itself... nothing but a detail. still... those days are such powerful days of joy and i find myself crying even more out of happiness, just because I realize more and more how special and wonderful it is to cry tears of joy.
i guess that is what this blog is about. priorities. i think its important to put your spouse first. i think if you focus on keeping that relationship in tact the rest will just fall into place, where things should be. children, next or even. its hard to convince myself that my child is not first, because really he is. for both of us though, but you hear the key to a happy child is happy parents so we make our marriage a priority. family... my mom, dad, sister, nephews... and so on. some of my family are lifetime friends that i consider so much of my existence that they are truly family. and then... friends. friends though, are last in line. i love my friends and believe that we need them, but not at the expense of those priorities before them. and i think thats what growing up is. new priorities. more meaningful priorities. i am not saying friendships aren't meaningful. i have just become aware though that some friendships are one sided, some are just for show, some just honestly suck the life out of you. those are the ones i don't have time for anymore.
when you become a mom, so many other aspects of life are changed - but one thing that i think stands out the most is that life speeds up. it goes from 60 to 120 in the blink of an eye and anytime you spend on something that is not true and soul enriching is wasted. wasted time away from my husband, my baby, my family... and trust me i'd rather be throwing a bday party for my dog than working to maintain a frienship that doesn't enhance my life. that being said, i do believe its important to make time for the friends that do, but i am finding out that quality vs quanity when it comes to friends is the key.
the past several months life has been thrown in my face. i've really been through so many ups and downs, so many events have taken place that have forced me into reflection. i think i've learned; moments should never be taken for granted. you should be as much in the moment as you possibly can... put down the facebook, text messages & ipads - those are nothing but meaningless distractions from real life. i've learned that love has a depth that i never ever imagined. asleep is so better than drunk. happiness isn't a right, its a choice. your relationship with yourself is just as important as your relationship with others. place emphasis on planning special days with loved ones. i've learned that facing fear is difficult, but worth it. its ok to be sad and happy at the same time. the only way to really reach your dreams is to realize them and go for it. nothing will fall in your lap. i think every experience in life is an opportunity to grow and become a better person, but only if you let it. keep your eyes open for inspiration, even in lady bugs.
changing lanes. its not an instant change and in certain ways it is an instinctive one, but i now realize that it also must be a purposeful one. defining who and what means the most to you, who and what enrich your life and by extension the life of your child and once those things are aligned - then you are just that one step closer to peace. life is short, and even shorter when you become a parent, it doesn't have to be busy and filled with something to do everyday. i've seen that the best days are the days that are filled with grocery store trips, evening walks & coffee in the morning. really, i don't think
it gets better than that.....
