This week has been hectic as can be for us... ok for me... I can't imagine Dylan having a hard week with his mommy catering every need, so I will just go ahead and give myself credit for being stressed to the max and still getting through the last few days.
Jon left for Orlando Sunday around 12pm, which means that I haven't had a break since then. I never really realized what those extra 2 hrs a day did for me until they have been totally taken away from me. Usually Jon gets up with the baby in the morning and takes over bedtime routine from 6-7. Its a great system, but even so I would still think that he had it easy with only 2 hours of selfless time. Now that I've regained those duties, I am realizing that his presence and two hours of help are priceless.
On top of being minus 2 extra "me time" hours a day, my son has decided to boycott naps this week. He hasn't napped since Saturday, which means that I have had no time to breath. To sit down and just decompress. I finally had gotten to a point where when I put the baby down for his nap, I would either sit and read my book or shower. I save the chores for while he is awake since I am constantly up and moving then anyway. Before I had this figured out I was trying to get MORE chores done while he was sleeping and found myself in a state of total exhaustion. So this method has worked well for us, until Sunday of course.
Why the sudden change you ask? It would be sweet and extremely irritating to assume this nap protest has been brought about by missing his daddy. And while I let Jon think that all he wants, the truth is that he learned to pull himself up in his crib Sunday morning. It was an exciting shock to walk in Sunday morning and see him standing up in all his proud glory. Until of course I realized that afternoon that standing up is his immediate response now when I put him in his crib. I have spent the last 3 1/2 days regretting the fact my child is developing normally with this little pull up milestone. If that makes me a bad mother, then I am making up for it in the patience I have exhibited this week, so no judging.
If this was not enough, a new tooth has decided to make its debut this week as well. Here I was last week worried that Dylan was not developing normally because he couldn't pull up and only had 2 teeth... when what I should have been doing is relishing in the fact he was not teething and sleeping like an angel.
If you have never dealt with a teething baby before, let me fill you in on what I have been going through. Teething means that your baby is not happy at all and instead of normal baby poops is pooping grown up 300 lb man poops... gross? Well, lets add that this lovely diaper filling is extremely runny and almost impossible to to change without getting some of it on you. Experienced moms are just nodding right now, if you are not a mom yet you may have stopped reading by this point. In any case, this is the reality of teething.
On top of not laying down & teething... my son woke up yesterday morning with a runny nose & seems to be coughing today. Fabulous.
We are also learning the word NO this week. Being that he is more mobile, he is getting into everything. First he thought the word was hilarious. Then I started to firm up my tone and he would immediately shed crocodile tears. Which of course my response is to pick him up and apologize. So instead of me training him, be began to train me. At least my patience is wearing off to the point where I don't feel the need to apologize for telling him not to pull the printer down on his head and we seem to be advancing in that arena. Mommy 1. Dylan 28.
No wonder my hair has been falling out. Its actually been over the last few weeks that I am noticing way more hair falling out than is normal for me. I thought it may be a delayed symptom of pregnancy, that I had been told might happen. However, after a visit to my doctor yesterday she is convinced it is not that. She tells me I need to get more sleep, slow down & find ways to reduce stress in my life. And no, she does not have children. I also have some blood work being done next week to test for Thyroid issues & Lupus, but until then I am thinking reducing stress and getting sleep is going to be the challenge of the year so far.
Reading back through my entries so much of what I say is glowingly happiness, but I've always promised to be straight about motherhood. There are days like this where you just think... you have reached your limit. So far I've learned a lot of what goes into being a mom is to stuff all those immediate thoughts & emotions to things to a place way far back in your mind so that it doesn't show through. Thats what it means to be selfless... if you are tired, you overcome it, if you are overwhelmed, you overcome it, if you are angry, you push it away... you do all this for the benefit of your child, so they have a happy & well adjusted mother.... so they in turn are happy and well adjusted children. Its just that some days its more difficult than others and sometimes you look back and think... how long have I been doing this? Sometimes, you just need a break. This is one of those sometimes for me!
Luckily, Jon gets home at 12 tomorrow and the first thing I am going to do is handover his beautiful, exhausted, teething, snotty child so his beautiful exhausted wife can shut herself in her room, run a bath and read a book.
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